Rivalry and Jealousy

It was a generally nice day in the city of Galaxy Hills, and Man-Arctica was heading back to the park after putting out a burning building. It wasn't until Man-Arctica got to the near center of the park, that he began to notice that the air was feeling a little warmer than usual. He looked to the left, and there was his mortal enemy, the Global Warmer. "Ah, hello, Man-Arctica!" Global Warmer greeted in a rather chipper manner. "So nice to see you here!"
"Global Warmer???" Man-Arctica gasped.

"So, how is every little thing?" Global asked. "Enjoying your solitude?"
"Where are going with this, Global Warmer?" Man-Arctica demanded.
"Well, I'm glad you asked!" Global chuckled. He began floating in the air, whilst reclining in a laid-back position, and continued, "I should let know about that possum-girl, Irene, that you set me up with."
"Let me guess," Man-Arctica hoped. "You turned her down the minute you saw her?"
"Me? Turn her down?" Global asked in an insulted tone of voice. "I would never! "And besides, she's quite eccentric!" he continued. "And, although she is mute, I gave her an electronic collar to help her speak, and she liked it!"
"Really?" Man-Arctica gasped in confusion.
"Of course!" Global smiled. "You know, at first I thought that Irene would be more of your fan!"
"Well, is she?" Man-Arctica asked hopefully.
"Unfortunately, for you, no." Global sighed. "She told me that she seems to be more fond of people who are, shall we say, less popular!"
"Wait, I'm popular!" Man-Arctica realized.
"Exactly!" Global Warmer chuckled, standing at his full height. "Irene likes me, better!"

With that, the hot villain threw his head back, and roared with maniacal laughter. Global Warmer was simply overjoyed that he found a fan other than the psychopath Olive Menkowitz. "I just knew I had fans!" he laughed. "I only needed to know where to look!"
"Global Warmer," Man-Arctica insisted. "Just because that Irene chick says she likes you, doesn't necessarily mean that she does!"
"Says you." Global chuckled, rolling his eyes, and his pupils going the full circumference of the lenses of his glasses.

That's when Man-Arctica noticed something on Global Warmer's cheek: it was dark purple, shiny, and looked like the shape of a pair of lips.
"Uh, Global Warmer?" he asked.
"Yes?" his enemy asked.
"Um, what is that on your face?" Man-Arctica asked again.
"Hm?" Global Warmer pulled out a mirror and suddenly laughed a little bit. "Oh yes," he giggled. "I forgot to tell you; "Irene kissed me!" he gloated.
"Wait, what?" Man-Arctica gasped.
"I know, but I didn't have the utter nerve to wash it off!" Global insisted. "How's that for proof?"
"How do I know that it's not Bernadette Flynn's mark?" a skeptical Man-Arctica asked, narrowing his eyes in suspicion.
"Oh, poppycock." Global Warmer huffed. "I haven't even seen Bernadette for the past few weeks! "And besides, I don't usually cast any fiery, romantic moves on her before getting bopped!" he explained.

The two rivals never knew that two certain females were watching them: one was tall and brawny, and the other was possum-like in bone structure, only taller than the human girl, and very lanky. Both girls wore dark clothing, and were watching Man-Arctica and Global Warmer, and listening in on their conversation. The human girl was Bernadette Flynn, and the possum girl was Irene. "I don't believe it!" Bernadette gasped in confusion. "They're talking about me!"
"Not only about you," Irene whispered through her electronic collar. "They're talking about me, as well!"

"The way I see it, Man-Arctica," Global Warmer continued with a small shrug of his shoulders. "You can't judge a book by its cover."
"I thought Irene was a possum, not a book." Man-Arctica said in confusion.
"It's a figure, of speech, IDIOT!!!" Global snapped in frustration. Global then cleared his throat, calmed down, and continued in a gloating manner, "I'm betting that you're now jealous that I also have fans? "Well, one, anyway?" he clarified.
"As a matter of fact, I am jealous, Global Warmer!" Man-Arctica growled, extending to his full height and pulling out his Multi-Purpose Devicicle.
"Oh, save your energy for something more useful!" Global Warmer huffed, crossing his arms and turning his nose up. "At least you have a girlfriend!"
"Ironically, Global Warmer," Man-Arctica gasped. "That was cold-blooded coming from you!" He growled once more, aimed the Devicicle at his archenemy, and fired; as a reflex, Global Warmer spun around, and blocked the incoming ice with his Humidifier, protecting himself from being frozen.
"So, it's come to this, has it?!" he snarled in anger.
"Bring it!" Man-Arctica snapped back.

The two then engaged in a fiercer battle worse than they've ever battled in the comics; after a few minutes of brutal kicking, punching, and hitting, Man-Arctica threw one final punch, and cold-cocked Global Warmer square in the jaw. That punch packed a lot of power, for the kiss mark that was stuck to Global's cheek, suddenly flew off, and landed in a nearby trash can with a plop. A fuming Man-Arctica stood up, and faced a battered, bruised, and aching Global Warmer with a look of determination and fury. Global Warmer, on the other hand, didn't look like he wanted to fight, any longer; he was on the verge of surrender, but Man-Arctica wasn't through with him, yet. The icy superhero cranked his Devicicle to its highest notch (the one with the skull-and-crossbones symbol on it), and took another step towards his archenemy. Global Warmer was lying on the ground, holding his aching ribs in pain, and hot tears rolling down his cheeks; it was a rare sign: the Global Warmer was crying. "Your so-called 'fan' isn't here to save you," Man-Arctica growled. "And you've melted your last glacier, for the last time!!!" Global Warmer winced and nearly sobbed in agony and defeat as Man-Arctica aimed his Devicicle at him.
"This is the end of me!" Global thought as the tears came flowing faster and hotter. "I didn't even say goodbye to Irene!!!"

"STOP!!!!!" Irene's voice yelled as Man-Arctica fired his Devicicle.
Global Warmer heard the obvious "ZAP!" of the weapon, and awaited the painful, stinging chill of the ice, but he then heard Man-Arctica say, "Hey! I missed!" Global looked up, and he was alive! He was relieved at this, until he saw who Man-Arctica really had frozen.
"Irene!!!" he gasped.
"Oops!" Man-Arctica gasped. Irene was, in fact, frozen in a block of ice, stuck in a position of defense: defense for the Global Warmer. Man-Arctica, on the other hand, was in complete shock; it seemed that his mortal enemy did have a fan. But Global Warmer didn't want poor Irene to be frozen, so, with his good arm, he aimed his Humidifier at the frozen possum-girl, and melted the ice block, freeing her. Luckily, the collar that Global gave to Irene was weather-proof, so it still worked.
"Global Warmer!" she gasped, running over to the injured super-villain. "Are you okay?"
"I'm badly injured, Irene;" Global Warmer sniffled, the pain worsening and tears still pouring from his eyes. "I can't get up!" At that, Irene scooped the aching and nearly-sobbing villain in her arms, and carried him off to her place.

"Wow!" Bernadette gasped in amazement. "Good thing I got all that on video!" She quickly saved the video on her phone, and ran back to Oz Comix. As Bernadette played back the video, Fanboy, Chum-Chum, and Oz were all amazed.
"Well, what do you know?" Fanboy gasped. "Global Warmer has a fan who isn't crazy!"
"Seriously!" Oz gasped.
"Wow!" Chum-Chum gasped. "Does this mean that he's gonna stop trying to kidnap you, Bernadette?"
"Who knows?" Bernie shrugged. "Him being the Cassanova he is, it'll be unpredictable!"
"Eww." Oz cringed in disgust.

Meanwhile, at Irene's place, the tall possum-girl had the Global Warmer all bandaged up, put a heating pad over the villain's black eye, and gave him medicine to help get rid of the pain (and that medicine didn't taste very good, either). "Thank you, Irene." Global moaned in disgust, the medicine's aftertaste kicking in.
"Here." Irene sighed through her collar; she gave him a warm cup of an herbal tea chaser to make the aftertaste go away, and it helped. Global Warmer was delighted and relieved despite his many injuries; he was having the time of his life, seeing that his newest fan was nursing him back to health. Irene wasn't like Man-Arctica's girlfriend (who is an actual nurse), but to Global Warmer, Irene is the next best thing: a personal fangirl.
"How long will I be in this condition, again?" Global asked.
"About a few weeks." Irene answered, gently patting the hot villain's shoulder.
"Well, it will be worth it!" Global sighed, a smile on his bruised face. "Thank you, again, my dearest fangirl."